To toast or not to toast..........

Ok, so we are out to dinner a couple of weeks ago with our youngest son Glenn and his wife, our daughter-in-law, Janet, and after we sit down and everyone pulls out their I-phones and Blackberries, and checks emails, text messages, instant messages, and facebook status updates, we start a conversation. Naturally, one of the first subjects to come up was toasters, and toaster slots. What? You don’t talk about toaster slots at the dinner table? How boring! Anyway, the conversation centered on four slot toasters and the ubiquitous slot label, “single slice”, and the associated arrow designating that particular slot to be used for toasting a single slice. Now, this subject begs at least two questions: first, why do you have to use a particular slot for cooking or toasting a single slice, and what would happen if you fail to follow these very explicit instructions?

Second, since there is a particular slot labeled for a single slice, one would first assume that is where the first slice would be inserted if you are actually toasting more than one slice, but where do you insert the second slice? Now, there is a real question!!

Let’s talk about the ramifications of inserting a single slice into a slot other than the one labeled “single slice”. I mean, will the toaster just stop working? Or even worse, will it explode? Being a conformist, I have always used the labeled slot, but now I am questioning that procedure. Does that make me a wimp? Should I just close my eyes, and insert that single slice of Wonder Bread into any random slot? Should I just step off that cliff without knowing what lies below? This is a major, major consideration that quite frankly, I am not ready to make.

Now let’s talk about the order of insertion. If you look at the top of your multi-slice toaster, and locate the “single slice” slot, it is typically in located towards the center. If the slots are numbered (left to right while facing the darkness dial), from 1 to 4 (assuming you have a 4 slot toaster), then the single slot is usually the second slot in from the left. My procedure has always been to insert the first slice into the single slice slot, and then the second slice into slot number 3 which is the slot to the right of the single slice slot. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with this. Actually, I originally assumed that it was pretty much standard procedure and that everyone did it that way. Boy was I wrong as I was duly informed by my family. At the very least, I was advised that there are several ways to insert the slices including the first slice into slot 2 (i.e. single slice slot), and then the second slice into slot 4!! To me that is just amazing. I have never tried that procedure, but in my mind it would lead to total failure with the toasting being totally unacceptable, with toast being either too dark, too light, or unevenly toasted. You ask me why I believe this and I tell you that it falls into the same category as believing that you HAVE to use the single slice slot for a single slice.

The real question moving forward is whether I will plow new ground by trying a single slice in other than the single slice slot, or even more daring, will I try multiple slices in some random order of insertion. This is going to require a lot of thought.

Speaking of thought, have you ever wondered why there are even toasters that have more than two slots? I mean, how do you even butter up more than two slices after they are toasted, without the slices getting too cold to melt the butter!